Cat Critics: The Happytime Murders

Brooke Ontiveros, Staff Writer

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The Happytime Murders hit theaters as a disappointing flop, in my opinion. Brian Henson, son of the Muppets creator Jim Henson, brings a new perspective to the fluffy, cuddly puppets – but it’s everything the world never wanted.

Merging vulgarity with childhood nostalgia, Henson managed to create a film that is not only shocking but almost revolting. With an astoundingly low rating of 22% on Rotten Tomatoes, Happytime Murders has become a common enemy of the people.

Unfortunately, not even going in with low expectations can save you from disappointment. With crude, overused and unoriginal jokes that are awful at best and infuriatingly offensive at worst, the movie fails to do maybe the only thing it should’ve been able to do: be funny.

One and half hours of a weak plot structure attempts to retell the story of a “wronged” cop investigating murders involving the Happytime cast, in a convoluted attempt to find justice for his murdered brother. Aside from being insanely underdeveloped, the plot could not connect with any real person watching the mess unravel.  Phil, the main character, at one point tries to comfort the daughter of the man he killed by sharing with her his hardships.  His logic runs along the lines that though her life was ruined by the shooting, he suffered greatly as well, essentially equating the loss of her father (at his hands) with the loss of his job.

Those with weak stomachs should especially beware, as this entire production is an absolute roller-coaster of vileness. And to those that watch movies with their parents or younger siblings, please do not try make a family night out of Happytime Murders;  you may just end up traumatizing all your relatives (yourself included).

Despite the use of puppets as central figures, do not mistake this movie as child-friendly or even people-friendly. This film, lacking in substance and failing horrendously at any effort at comedy, shocks absolutely no one with its obvious plot twist and teaches no lessons in its weak attempt at contrasting the good and bad in people.

 

MOVIE HACK: Don’t waste your money on Happytime Murders, and try your popcorn with jalapenos.  It tastes amazing, I promise.

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